Cursed
by Mebrireth
Summary: The wind tunnel. A powerful weapon, Miroku's death warrant. It's enough to tear the monk apart, until he realizes he is not alone in the struggle. Short vignette, R&R please.


Author's Note: Hello there. This is the first time I've written anything for Inuyasha, so I apologize in advance if I get anything horribly wrong. And if I spell a name wrong or completely warp somebody's character, please do not hesitate to tell me. This is just a small vignette based off one of the episodes, enjoy!  
  
"Cursed"  
  
The wind tunnel.  
  
The most powerful weapon that Miroku had to offer, the one thing that he could count on to get him out of almost any fight. An advantage unmatched by any foe he had yet encountered.  
  
And the one thing that insured him of an early grave. A curse passed down through the generations. His curse now.  
  
Miroku sighed and took his eyes away from his hand. There was no point in worrying about it, there was nothing to be done about it now. He still had some time, and as long as he was careful he could lengthen that time to be enough to kill Naraku and stop the curse once and for all.  
  
His father had not been able to do it. His grandfather had failed as well. But Miroku would not let that stop him. As long as he tried, he could at least die with some honor.  
  
"Are you coming or what, monk?" The irritable voice of Inuyasha came to Miroku. Miroku blinked and looked up. He had been looking down at his hand again, at the wind tunnel. He really had to stop doing that, it was getting out of control.  
  
"Of course I am coming, I cannot allow you to take all the credit for yourself now, can I?" Miroku smiled, letting his brazen attitude match his words. But inside he felt like crying out.  
  
With a sniff Inuyasha turned back around and continued on his way. Miroku followed.  
  
There had been reports of a demon attacking a small village nearby, and with the possibility of a jewel shard being at the root of the problem, they had to of course check it out. Miroku had no qualms with their quest, he knew that with every shard of the jewel gained their power grew. But he could not shake the feeling of losing too much precious time. Time that could be spent seeking out Naraku rather than taking the path of traveling heroes. For that was almost what they had become. Even if a jewel shard was not involved, often they still stopped to help out. A noble quest, sure, but one that took too much time.  
  
There was never enough time.  
  
Miroku was looking at his hand again.  
  
The wind tunnel was thoroughly covered, its power controlled by the string of prayer beads he kept wrapped tightly around it. But even without seeing it he could feel the nick he had recently acquired. It was healing slowly, and he had been told to not use the wind tunnel for fear of rupturing it completely. And that would mean his death, along with any unfortunates who happened to be around when that happened.  
  
He was failing in his mission.  
  
He had been a fool to think he could change the fate that had ruled his line for so long. He would be dead long before they even came close to defeating Naraku.  
  
Miroku looked up again.  
  
They were traveling along a small dusty path lined by trees to get to the village. Inuyasha was in the lead of course, followed closely behind by Kagome who happened to be holding Shippo at the moment. Sango was ranging along the edges of the path, sometimes even disappearing into the trees, no doubt scouting their surroundings closely, not wanting to risk a surprise ambush.  
  
And Miroku followed in the rear, forgotten by the group for the moment.  
  
That was fine with him.  
  
Miroku flexed his fingers, his hand always had a sort of stiffness to it, even more so now with the nick. He kept his thoughts away from his hand by forcing himself to stare ahead at the backs of his friends.  
  
And yes, they were his friends.  
  
Though he had never wanted to be involved in a group mission before, and had thought he would never be able to tolerate Inuyasha's presence for too long, he had grown fond of them. So much so that he knew if anything happened to any of them he would be crushed.  
  
And with a dangerous path such as theirs, that possibility was never too far-fetched.  
  
But he could not ask any of them to abandon their quest. All of them had a grudge against Naraku, blood that had to be repaid. And all of them had their own attributes, even little Shippo had proved his worth more than once.  
  
No, none of them could step away from this fight now.  
  
'I'll probably be the first to die.'  
  
It was a dismal thing, knowing that your death was a certainty. Of course, everybody's death was certain, but knowing that yours would come that much more quickly, that was the real kicker there.  
  
'I wonder if the others will be grieved by my death.'  
  
A stupid thought, of course they would be affected somewhat. Especially Kagome, her heart was too big for her own good. As for Inuyasha? He had proven he would at least be slightly disturbed. What was that he had said while Miroku had been lying helpless in the very place his own father had died? If anybody was going to kill Miroku it would be him? Something along those lines. A bold jest of course, but the closest thing to compassion Miroku had ever gotten out of him.  
  
But if he was going to be consumed by the wind tunnel, than at least he would be sure to take out whatever or whoever he was fighting when it happened. He would make such an end that tales of it would be told long into the future.  
  
Such an end.  
  
Miroku stopped.  
  
If the others were around when he died, they would be sucked in as well.  
  
He would be the cause of all their deaths.  
  
Miroku stood in the path, horrified. The others continued along, not noticing he had stopped walking.  
  
That had never occurred to him before, that he might be a danger to his friends.  
  
He understood that his own death was imminent. That was his curse and his burden to bare. But to put the others at risk, that was too much.  
  
As much as he had come to love being with them, he could not continue like this.  
  
He was a walking time bomb, and the others did not deserve it.  
  
Kagome looked over her shoulder. She stopped when she saw Miroku so far down the path.  
  
Inuyasha pulled up short as well, irritation immediately welling up at the delay. He turned to see what was bothering Kagome. "Monk? What are you doing?" he called out.  
  
For once, Miroku did not have an answer for Inuyasha. Usually he was quick with his words, always ready with an immediate comeback. But now his voice faltered, and he truly did not know what to say. If he told the others of what he feared they would scoff and throw it to the wind, it was a risk they'd be willing to take, he could almost hear them saying that.  
  
But they did not know the terrible power of the wind tunnel when it was out of control. It would be a painful death.  
  
"Miroku?"  
  
Miroku almost jumped at the voice that came up from behind him. Sango was standing there, she had circled around while scouting the area.  
  
"What is the matter?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing," Miroku answered after a small hesitation. "Just thinking about something is all."  
  
He started forward again, followed closely by Sango. He would not be able to fall behind this time, Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo were waiting for him to catch up and Sango did not seem that eager to leave his side. Even though Miroku thought he was putting up a good enough front, he wasn't fooling anybody.  
  
The others were worried about him.  
  
Ever since getting that nick last week, Miroku seemed much more demure. He did not complain or say anything about it, but the others noticed when he would forget himself and simply stare at his hand.  
  
"Miroku are you okay?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Fine," Miroku answered, "I'm fine. Just thinking some things over."  
  
Nobody was buying it, but they had not the heart to call him on it. "So what kind of demon is it this time?" Miroku switched the subject.  
  
Inuyasha sneered. "Whatever it is it won't last long. All we're going to do is kill it, get the jewel shard, and then get out of there."  
  
Miroku felt a smile pass over his face at that. At least he could always count on Inuyasha to not waste time. Inuyasha was the act first, ask questions later sort of guy.  
  
"And then of course see if the villagers need any help in rebuilding," Kagome said with a defiant look at Inuyasha.  
  
"What?" Inuyasha was astonished. "Isn't killing their demon enough help? Why should we have to do all the work?"  
  
"Because it's the right thing to do," Kagome insisted.  
  
Miroku felt his smile fade as he tuned their fighting out. He knew the outcome of the argument anyway, Kagome always won. Inuyasha put up a big façade and acted like he could hardly stand her, but it was plain to anybody else that Inuyasha would rather cut off an arm than deny Kagome anything. Whatever she said went.  
  
And though Miroku loved Kagome and her unerring sense of righteousness, her goodness sometimes took up more time. If they did help the village afterwards, that was just more time against finding Naraku and killing him.  
  
Miroku sighed. He suddenly felt old, much older than the others. The rest of them had plenty of time.  
  
Eventually Kagome and Inuyasha stopped fighting, Kagome won as Miroku had suspected, and they continued on the small path.  
  
Night came quicker than they had expected and the group was forced to set up a small camp off the path. They had thought the village to be closer and that they would have been able to sleep in real beds tonight.  
  
"We'll be on our way first thing in the morning so I suggest you sleep now," Inuyasha said as soon as a fire was made and they were settled. Nobody argued they were all tired anyway.  
  
Miroku lay with his hands behind his head and stared up into the dark sky. He had made his bed slightly apart from the others, not trying to conveniently place himself between Sango and Kagome only to be shunned later in the night when he 'accidentally' rolled close to one of them.  
  
He had no intentions of sleeping that night.  
  
It was not long before Miroku heard the telltale signs of the others sleeping. Sango and Kagome's breath deepened while Shippo whistled slightly. Inuyasha was not sleeping, but Miroku knew he was gone from their campsite. He normally prowled around for a while, making sure there was nothing dwelling in the shadows of the trees to kill them in their sleep.  
  
Miroku silently got up and fixed his blankets in a way to make it look like he was still sleeping underneath them. He grabbed his staff and leaned on it for a moment, looking one last time upon his friends. Both Sango and Kagome were beautiful, there was never an argument about that, and somehow they seemed even more so in their sleep.  
  
Shippo was snuggled against Kagome's side, and even though Miroku was usually jealous, he found himself smiling. In the short time he had known them, he had truly come to love them. He would be sad for a while after leaving them, but he had to do it. It was for their own safety.  
  
"My last gift to you," Miroku whispered, "live long and full."  
  
Miroku turned slowly on his heel and then ventured out quietly into the dark trees.  
  
He had made it about ten yards and was beginning to think he had actually gotten away with it before sensing a presence nearby.  
  
And there was only one person he knew with a presence like that.  
  
"Inuyasha," he said softly.  
  
"And just where were you getting off to?" Inuyasha swung down from a tree off to Miroku's right and strode up to him. "I already have the watch handled if you were worried."  
  
"No," Miroku said, "I knew you would be more than on top of it."  
  
"Then what? You wouldn't possibly be leaving us in the middle of the night out of fear. The demon's supposedly not that bad, nothing we can't handle." Inuyasha crossed his arms and waited impatiently for Miroku's answer.  
  
"That's not why I am leaving," Miroku said shortly. He looked Inuyasha straight in the eye and Inuyasha blinked. "You know I would never run from such a fight."  
  
"Then what fight are you running from?" Inuyasha asked. He had started off angry, fed up with the way Miroku had been moping around and acting lately. Now he found his anger melting, the monk's eyes were darker and his manner more hopeless. He seemed to have aged ten years in a week.  
  
Miroku closed his eyes briefly and unconsciously squeezed his hand.  
  
"That? That's why you're running? You're afraid about that nick?" Inuyasha's voice was harsh, but he could not help remembering his short conversation with Miroku's old mentor and healer. He had told Inuyasha that the wind tunnel would kill Miroku someday if they did not stop Naraku first.  
  
"It's not the nick I'm afraid of," Miroku's voice rose to match Inuyasha's harshness. "I don't fear for my own life, I have accepted my fate a long time ago."  
  
"What fate? What is wrong with you lately monk?" Miroku went to say something but Inuyasha did not let him. "Look, I know all about your curse, I know what could happen with the wind tunnel. But you don't need to worry about it. I'll have Naraku's head and you'll have his blood long before that will ever happen."  
  
"How do you know?" Miroku burst out. All the emotions he had been keeping under control for so long came flooding out. It was as if a dam had been broken within him and he shook slightly as he spoke.  
  
"How do you know we'll be able to find Naraku in time much less kill him? Every time we confront him it turns out to be a demon puppet or something else. That's not to mention all of our fights for the jewel shards. Every time I use the wind tunnel I shorten my life only I don't know how much more time I have. I don't know what time will be the last time, and I will not let myself be the cause of all our deaths."  
  
Inuyasha was taken aback by the outburst, and then even more so by what Miroku said. It was a few moments before he could say anything back. "What do you mean the cause of all our deaths?"  
  
Miroku sighed and looked upwards. When he answered his voice was a lot softer, his body slumped, his anger quickly spent. "You have the Tetsuiga, that's your weapon. The wind tunnel is mine. If something happens that I can't handle on my own I have to use it. There's no way I can limit the amount of using it because I never know what will happen. And if it comes to the last time where the wind tunnel consumes me, it'll suck in anything around me, including you, Kagome, Sango, and Shippo. We'll all die."  
  
Inuyasha did not seem impressed. "And that's why you're leaving us?"  
  
Miroku frowned. "Seems enough of a reason for me."  
  
"Not for me. Look, all of us risk our lives any time we go to a fight. But we go willingly and without fear. It is not up to you to decide that something is too dangerous for us."  
  
"But you don't understand," Miroku interjected, "if the wind tunnel breaks I can't control it. It'll be too powerful."  
  
"And if I accidentally call up the wind scar and swipe in the wrong direction you're all dead," Inuyasha countered.  
  
Miroku stopped. He had never thought of that. Inuyasha always appeared so in control of everything he did.  
  
"And if one of Kagome's arrows or Sango's weapons goes astray we're dead then too. The point I'm getting at is we all know the risks we take everyday, but nobody else is running. I know you've been scared recently with the injury to your hand, but I know you can control yourself in the end. If the time comes you'll know it and you'll do everything you can to prevent harm to us. I have that trust in you, just as the rest of us trust each other. No matter what happens to us I know that the last thing I have to worry about is one of you killing me." Inuyasha's expressing and voice was infallible, his eyes staring straight at Miroku. Miroku found himself at a loss for words, again.  
  
Inuyasha turned to leave. "Now stop fooling around and get back to camp and get some sleep," he said, "I don't want to have to drag you around in the morning because you're too tired."  
  
"Do you really have that much faith in me?" Miroku asked.  
  
Inuyasha stopped and looked over his shoulder. "I'd stake my life on it," he said in a soft voice. With a small smile, he turned back around and leapt into the trees.  
  
Miroku stayed still for a few moments. His mind was in turmoil, unsure of what to think. Slowly, Miroku turned around and started back towards the camp.  
  
In a daze Miroku settled back into his blankets.  
  
"Miroku?" the sleepy voice was Kagome's. "Is there a demon?"  
  
Miroku paused. "No Kagome, there's nothing. You're completely safe."  
  
Kagome smiled and settled back down, immediately falling back asleep.  
  
Miroku settled back himself. "I'll keep you safe," he said softly before closing his eyes. 


End file.
